Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You — Chapter 57

T/N: Any notes at the end of relevant paragraphs that are indicated with an asterisk * are usually my own translation notes, unless I say otherwise in square brackets [  ], and whatever’s written in square brackets are words I added on for clearer meaning.

As always, a million thanks to my friend, vvatson, for being my beta reader. Any remaining typos or errors are all mine, so feel free to point out any glaring ones you see.

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Chapter 57: The Scarlet Letter’s judgment

Heart unsettled, I listen to the soldiers ‘politely’ telling us that the general has an important matter to announce regarding the security of the city and asks that everyone gather in the public square. Elder Sister Adoly does not seem to take it seriously, mumbling under her breath: why do these officials like to turn small matters into grand affairs, always threatening to dispatch soldiers at the slightest provocation, making everyone unable to rest easy. In ancient times, broadcasting services such as radio-television do not exist, so the only way to make any public announcements is to gather people like this. With such thoughts, my heart feels a bit more relaxed.

Elder Sister Adoly and I put away our purchases in the house, and then follow the soldiers back to the market. The lively market from earlier has changed in an instant. All the vendors have already packed up their things. In the area where the domesticated animals are kept, heavy goods are currently being hung on all the horses and mules. It looks like all the people of Subashi City have gathered here, crowding in the square by the thousands. There are many people who still have baskets in their hands—I am afraid that they must have gathered here straight from the market as there was not enough time to return home. I do not see Bai Zhen and Lu Guang at the front of raised platform; only see Lu Zuan standing there with a group of people.

The sight of Lu Zuan gives me a bad feeling. I think to myself that I should leave as soon as possible, but get caught by the soldiers standing behind me, who tell me to excuse them for being impolite, and then proceed to drag me to the platform. Elder Sister Adoly yells out in protest and immediately gets held back by two soldiers. I cannot use my stun gun because there are too many people present. Knowing that resistance is futile, I compose myself into a face of calm and walk towards Lu Zuan. My inside is full of anger—after only a week of peace and quiet, what does Lu Guang want now?

Lu Zuan looks taken aback with how calm I look when I approach him. The colour of his face darkens.

He nods to signal everyone to be quiet, then loudly says:

“Everyone,* elders and townsfolks, all of you have been convened here today to celebrate the end of Master Kumarajiva of the Cakuri Temple’s wedding week.”

*诸位(zhū​wèi) a formal and archaic form of address for ‘everyone’

He pauses, waits for the person next to him to finish translating, and then continues:

“After he got married, the master has continuously kept his beloved in a golden house*, so everyone has yet the chance to see the lady’s countenance. Today, this lowly self has invited madam here so everyone can meet each other. Madam is presently living in the master’s personal residence so from now on, it is requested that the people of Subashi City be relied on in looking after her.”

* 金屋藏娇 (jīn​wū​cáng​jiāo) is famous Chinese idiom that literally translates to “[to] keep Jiao [in] golden house”. The origin of this idiom comes from a tale in Han Wu gushi (a collection of stories about Emperor Wu of Han [157-87 BCE], believed to be written between the 2^nd to 4^th Century CE), about how the 5-year-old emperor (who was then a prince), upon seeing his older cousin “A-Jiao” (daughter of his father’s sister), had bragged that if he could have A-Jiao as his woman, he would build a golden house to keep her. “A-Jiao” later became Empress Chen (her real name was never recorded in the history but was commonly believed to be Chen Jiao thanks to this tale), the first wife of Emperor Wu, until she got deposed in 130 BCE for witchcraft. Over time, the idiom became an expression to mean keeping a concubine or mistress in a golden/luxurious house instead. [T/N: So, with this (lengthy) explanation in mind, you can probably guess Lu Zuan’s true intention in using this idiom to talk about Ai Qing. And based on the next paragraph, it is likely that Ai Qing knows too.]

I direct my eyes, full of anger, towards Lu Zuan. So Lu Guang still has this thought! After getting married, Rajiva did not enter into a self-exile of depression and instead became more active by resuming the daily operation of the temple. He [also] did not receive any disdain from the monks, a result that completely deviated from Lu Guang’s original plan. And I have been titled as a Princess of Kucha, so the Lu father-and-son pair cannot be too nasty in their dealings with me either. As such, they want to draw support from the masses by exposing me [like a scandal] in a public place with lots of people, making use of ‘gossip is a fearful thing’* to compel Rajiva to renounce monkhood or to force us to leave Kucha.

* 人言可畏 (rén​yán​kě​wèi), a Chinese idiom

Sure enough, the crowd erupts. Many of them must have attended our wedding, but because I was wearing a veil that day, nobody knew who I was. Also, the focus of that night was Lu Guang forcing the monks to drink, so the brunt of the anger was directed towards him. Now that I appear in public like this, the focus of the conflict has once again shifted to me. Wanting to keep a low-profile—it’s difficult. I stand there in silence. In this situation, I should not say anything in defense. Public opinion [can] melt metal;* if I am careless with words and cause some kind of misunderstanding, it would have a very bad effect on Rajiva.

* 众口烁金 (zhòng​kǒu​shuò​jīn), a Chinese idiom that means public opinion/gossip can distort or obscure the truth

“It was madam who made the master break his precepts. Madam is generally genteel and sweet-tempered, but can also go to the hall¹ and knows how to act in the bedroom². That day, the master was insistent on not breaking the precepts; however, madam’s allure knows no bounds, enticing one into rapture. The master is still a man so naturally, he could not resist.”

¹ 上得厅堂 (shàng dé tīngtáng) – 厅堂or “the hall” refers to the space where one greets guests. Traditionally in China, women’s (wives’, specifically) role was restricted to the kitchen; they were not allowed to greet guests in the hall. ²入得闺房 (rù dé guīfáng) – 闺房 refers to a lady’s private chamber but is understood to be the bedroom in this phrase, as the phrase is a euphemism for being good in bed. So Lu Zuan is implying—well, not so implying—that Ai Qing may be a well-bred princess, but she also knows her way around the house and in bed. [T/N: The Internet tells me that the full saying regarding expectations for women were (and are, though much more protested now): 上得厅堂，下得厨房，入得闺房= [Good] in the hall, in the kitchen, and in the bedroom.]  

“You-” I raise my head and glare at Lu Zuan’s vicious smile.

Just as I am about to speak, something hits my head. I turn and see that it is a piece of naan. Even though it barely hurts, all at once, a feeling of being wronged rises up in my heart. The eyes of the people below make me shudder. It is as if I am Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter,* and the crowd’s gaze is carving an invisible letter “A” onto my chest. I knew that I was going to be censured for marrying a monk, which I thought I could bear. Yet now that the moment is here, I cannot help but feel sad and wronged.

* In the novel (published in 1850), Hester Prynne is a young woman who has given birth to a child of unknown parentage and is put in front of a crowd to face punishment via public humiliation. She is required to wear the letter “A” on her dress at all times and for the rest of her life, which although never explicitly stated in the novel, is understood to stand for “adulteress” (Source: Wiki).

More things hit my body. I grit my teeth and continue to stand upright. Let them throw. I cannot speak up. The crowd has been stirred up by Lu Zuan, so trying to defend myself now would only be counterproductive. I think to myself, Lu Zuan cannot detain me here forever; it will pass so I just need to bear it for a bit. The road ahead of us is still long, and we had agreed to walk on it together, so I cannot be defeated now.

“Stop!”

A pained and distressed shout rings out. The crowd parts. It is him! Frantically running over, gasping for breath, stricken with fear and panic. I try to signal with my eyes for him to not approach me. In this situation, his appearance is of no help and instead would only put him at a disadvantage.

He ignores my signal, jumps on the platform with great strides, and opens his arms wide to cover me. The crowd immediately stops buzzing, and the arms that were about to hurl things at me also halt in their arcs. Standing behind him, I cannot see clearly what his expression is like. I only see him touching his palms together and bowing, before speaking in a loud and clear voice, each word pronounced in everyone’s ears:

“Everyone, benefactors,* breaking precepts and taking a wife were all Rajiva’s doings. All of your grievances, Rajiva alone will bear, my wife has nothing to do with it.”

* Same term for ‘everyone’ as used by Lu Zuan (see above). 施主(shī​zhǔ) is a term used by a monk to address a layperson, literally means ‘master [who] gives’.

My wife!

He really stood in front of a crowd and shouted ‘my wife’! I struggle to hold back the tears that are escaping my control. Does he know that this declaration will earn him criticism for a lifetime, for more than a thousand years?

“How eager the master is in protecting his wife!” Lu Zuan sneers coldly, “Looks like master’s heart is still the mortal world. That you remain attached to mortal pleasures, it is not difficult [to see why].”

Back straight, head holding high, Rajiva stands with confidence and speaks with a voice full of determination:

“It is indeed preposterous for a monk to take a wife. But since Rajiva has sworn to be with this woman for the rest of his life before the Buddha, she is Rajiva’s wife, and [I] will never fail [her]. As for Rajiva’s failure to keep the precepts, he does feel ashamed [for this] in front of the Buddha. Rajiva is willing to be cast into Avīci Naraka¹, never to be born again. But Rajiva still harbours a big wish in his heart: to spread the teachings of Buddha, to guide the masses of three thousand to the right path. Rajiva wishes to spread the Dharma across all the large thousand worlds,² to ferry all living things past suffering and towards enlightenment.”

¹ Lowest level of Naraka (Buddhist hell), the hell of ‘incessant suffering’

² 大千世界(dà​qiān​ shì​jiè) is short for 三千大千世界(sān​qiān ​dà​qiān ​shì​jiè), lit. “three thousand great thousand worlds”, which describes the Buddhist cosmology. More explanation here.

He pauses and turns around to look at me with a brilliant smile on his lips. By the time he faces the crowd once again, his voice has risen in volume:

“Upon completing the Dharma, Rajiva and wife will enter hell together without furrowing our brows.”

I look at his back, so tall that it blocks an entire sky for me, and laugh. How can I hide behind him! I step forward to stand next to him, clasp our hands together, and hold my head high. In this moment, happiness is flooding inside me. Entering hell—what about it? Whichever place has you in it is heaven for me.

The crowd below us looks dumbfounded¹; the pair of us, acting without the least shame like this, seems to have rendered them at a loss². Seeing that the crowd has not moved for a long time, I glance at Lu Zuan and notice his unsightly face suddenly loosening before giving a nod. I follow his gaze and see someone in the crowd raising his arm and hurling something at us.

¹ Idiom: 目瞪口呆 (mù​dèng​kǒu​dāi) lit. ‘eye stare, mouth stupid’

² Idiom: 不知所措 (bù​zhī​suǒ​cuò) lit. ‘not knowing [which] place to handle/take action on’

[T/N: In both instances above, it was hard to incorporate the idioms into the sentences, so I opted to use the meanings only instead.]

Rajiva shouts out in pain, his body shaking. It is actually a stone this time. That person, even if he is wearing Kuchan clothes, is clearly not a person from Kucha. Anger erupts in me. Turns out Lu Zuan has already inserted soldiers in the crowd to instigate trouble. Could it be that all those things that were thrown at us earlier were by his men?

As expected, that sets things off. The crowd descends into shouts again and surrounding us are hundreds of eyes glaring at us with contempt, making us breathless. They begin to throw more things at us. Rajiva turns his back towards the crowd and opens his arms wide to cover me. Nestled under his arms, I secretly pull out my stun gun. I could bear people throwing things at me, but not at Rajiva. He is a great Buddhist master and must maintain his dignity in public’s eye. I held back at the temple before because shooting Lu Guang was going to affect the political situation. However, Lu Zuan is merely an accomplice, so shooting him is much less dangerous than shooting Lu Guang.

Lu Zuan turns towards with a satisfied smirk, about to say something, but his eyes suddenly turn wide, face caught in an inexplicable surprise, before his whole body lurches forward and collapses, shaking up a cloud of dust.

“Little General Lu!”

His men hurry to his side, turning him over and shaking him desperately, but there is no response. The crowd is in an uproar, the scene quickly spinning out of control.

Rajiva turns to look at me, half puzzled, half suspicious. I nod as quickly as possible without anyone noticing. He looks somewhat dazed by it and merely holds onto me. Someone places a hand on my shoulder, making me lean away in fright. It turns out to be Pusysdeva, who is giving me a weak grin while panting heavily, his clothes in disarray.

“Everyone, folks, please calm down and listen to me,” Pusysdeva waves his arms around and shouts at the crowd with all of his strength.

Him being the State Preceptor probably helps as the crowd gradually becomes quiet and turns all their attention onto him.

“Folks, this is Buddha’s way of helping the master.” Pusysdeva casts his eyes around, then loudly says, “Buddha could not stand by idly any longer and wants to tell Little General Lu to stop deceiving people so excessively. Those who were there on the day the master married, you must remember the coercion the master was under.”

Pusysdeva paces on the platform and shouts:

“The master is a man who possesses great compassion. Since the marriage vow was completed before the Buddha, it can never be broken. However, thinking about the people, the master still wishes to ferry all living things across. That our Kucha has a [Buddhist] master who cares so much about the people, is it not a great blessing?”

The faces of the people in the crowd begin to loosen up. Many are nodding in agreement. I am a little stunned. His ability to adapt to new situations is incredible! This kind of impromptu speech before the people of Kucha, who have always believed in Buddha, will certainly help Rajiva overcome his credibility crisis.

“And this lady…” Pusysdeva suddenly turns around and points to me, “she is not only the daughter of my king, Princess Agayamati, but also someone who was sent down by Buddha to help the master overcome his trials. Buddha could not bear to watch them suffer any longer, so he made a display of his power to warn you. If anyone tries to make things difficult for the master and his wife…”

He pauses, casts his gaze over the crowd, then stops at Lu Zuan who is still lying on the ground, and pretends to look worried: “I wonder what kind of punishment Buddha will send?”

Pusysdeva sits opposite of us, watching me apply medicine on Rajiva underneath the oil lamp. The bruises on his arms and face make my heart ache, but Rajiva still has a look of calm.

“What you said today, even though it broke the siege¹, it was still a lie, so do not mention it again in the future,” Rajiva says to his brother, voice soft but stern.

¹ 解围 (jiě​wéi): 解 = ‘loosen, unfasten’ and 围 = ‘surround, encircle’, the phrase means to help someone break free of a siege, of being surrounded (like in a battle), but can also mean to help somebody get out of trouble or an embarrassing situation.

I look at him surprise.

“How is it a lie?” Pusysdeva jumps up, “Ai Qing was originally a celestial being. It was Lu Zuan who does not know good from bad. He humiliated you both in public like that. You can bear it, but I cannot.”

“I…” I hesitate, wondering whether I should tell him who I really am, but Rajiva gently presses on my hand.

“You have publicly declared that Ai Qing is a celestial being several times. This puts her in danger,” Rajiva says slowly, “If Lu Guang knows that Ai Qing has powers, such as being able to predict the future, one cannot guarantee that he will not try to use her.”

“This…” Pusysdeva can only stare, tongue-tied for a while before deflating and reluctantly apologize to Rajiva, “I was in a hurry, so I did not think too deeply.”

“Oh, that’s right, what will happen to Lu Zuan?” Rajiva turns to ask me.

“He got a dose of a sedative, will sleep for a day and night, and when he wakes up, there will be no trace left.”

He nods, ponders for a moment, then squeezes my hand firmly.

“In the future, you must not act so recklessly like this.”

I nod. Thinking back, it really was a dangerous situation. If Pusysdeva did not arrive in time, I do not know how I would have been able to end things.

Suddenly, there is the sound of a dog barking from the courtyard. The sound of lots of footsteps from afar is also getting nearer. Seems like a large group of people is approaching. The three of us look at each other and get up simultaneously.

The front gate opens and hurried footsteps echo along the hall. At the front of the group is an anxious-looking Lu Guang, followed by his son and nephew, Lu Shao and Lu Long, as well as Du Jin and Bai Zhen. The small room is suddenly filled to the brim with people. Bai Zhen, who is standing next to Lu Guang, is using his eyes to signal something at Pusysdeva.

Lu Guang does not even wait for us to finish our salutations; he touches his palms together towards Rajiva:

“Master, without Lu-mou’s permission, this dog of a son had acted on his own and behaved improperly, offending Buddha, and for that he deserves to die ten thousand times over.” His face looks somewhat unwilling, but he still endures and continues to speak, “I can only hope master is merciful and saves this dog of a son’s life. He has been unconscious for two shichen* and no matter what treatment is given, he would not wake. If this continues, his life will be in danger.”

* one 时辰 (shíchén) is about two hours

Rajiva has been looking at Lu Guang, his expression not wavering. Once he [Lu Guang] finishes speaking, Rajiva touches his palms together and tells Lu Guang: “Little General Lu is not-”

“General Lu, this is Buddha’s doing, how can he be saved just because you want it so?” Pusysdeva interrupts Rajiva with a cold voice.

Lu Guang looks up, clenches his fists, takes a breath and then asks, “Oh? Then according to the State Preceptor, how can my dog of a son be saved?”

“There are two reasons for Buddha’s act of condemnation: One, he did not want my elder brother to return to the mortal world¹, and two, he could not bear to see the husband-and-wife pair separate. If General Lu can perfect the good qualities², does not cause any further discord, Buddha will definitely bless Little General Lu.”

¹ [T/N: as in return to being a layperson]

² 成人之美(chéngrénzhīměi) an idiomatic expression from Kongzi (Confucius)’s The Analects – Yan Yuan: 子曰：「君子成人之美，不成人之惡。小人反是。Translation by James Legge: “The Master said, “The superior man seeks to perfect the admirable qualities of men, and does not seek to perfect their bad qualities. The mean man does the opposite of this.” [T/N: 小人 can also be translated as the ‘small man’ or ‘inferior man’.]

“Alright, what the State Preceptor said, Lu-mou promised to follow,” Lu Guang says with a blue vein popping in his neck, then coldly asks, “But, how can I wake up my dog of a son?”

Pusysdeva glances at Rajiva, full of meaning, then makes a faint bow towards Lu Guang: “I will require elder brother to gather the monks and recite a mantra for Little General Lu. Buddha will definitely hear it. After one day and night, Little General Lu will wake.”

“What if he is not awake by this time tomorrow?”

“As long as General Lu sincerely keeps the two promises, Pusysdeva will use my own neck as guarantee.”

“Good! If my dog of a son wakes up before this time tomorrow, Lu-mou will definitely keep his promises.”

Lu Guang makes a gesture of invitation towards Rajiva: “I will have to ask master to please work hard.”