Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You — Chapter 61

T/N: Any notes at the end of relevant paragraphs that are indicated with an asterisk * are usually my own translation notes, unless I say otherwise in square brackets [  ], and whatever’s written in square brackets are words I added on for clearer meaning.

As always, a million thanks to my friend, vvatson, for being my beta reader. Any remaining typos or errors are all mine, so feel free to point out any glaring ones you see.

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Chapter 61: Tragedy at the ravine

While everyone is bustling around, Rajiva is silently gazing at the sky, then squatting down to look at the grass for a while, shaking his head worriedly:

“Dark clouds are covering the sky, and the ants are in a hurry. There will definitely be rain tonight. How can we stop at this ravine? The whole army will be in a panic. We ought to move to higher ground.”

Unable to sit still, he goes to Lu Guang’s tent to persuade him. I stay behind and pack up in the tent. Half an hour later, he returns and with a downturned face and says:

“Lu Guang said the soldiers have gone to rest and should not be stirred.”

He lets out a long sigh, then looks at me in puzzlement:

“Ai Qing, what are you doing?”

I smile and tighten the knot of our bags.

“Getting ready to escape at any time. It will rain heavily tonight, and the water level in this ravine will rise several zhang¹.”
¹ 丈 (zhàng): a traditional Chinese unit of length, equal to ten 尺 (chǐ). Chi is often translated as “Chinese foot” but that is a misnomer as the measurement unit originally came from a hand-span. Like the unit ‘li’, the value of zhang and chi changed over time. PRC currently has zhang standardized as 3 ¹⁄₃ m and chi as 1/3m.

“Ai Qing, you knew this earlier, didn’t you?” He squeezes my shoulders and looks at me sharply.

I stick out my tongue in response.

“Ai Qing, human life is precious, how can you merely look and not try to save lives?” He lets go of my shoulders, his tone reproachful: “Knowing that there will be heavy rain tonight, how can Rajiva just save only himself?”

Thinking about how the history books wrote that this heavy rain would drown thousands of people, my heart could not bear it either. But…I hesitate and say:

“Rajiva, it is not that I do not want to save them, but I do not want to change history with my intervention. Everyone has their destiny. If I-”

“Ai Qing!” Rajiva interrupts me with a solemn expression. “Then what about your arrival? A person from a thousand years in the future appeared in my life, but has destiny stopped running its course?”

He turns his head and looks at the darkening sky outside the tent, his handsome brows locking tightly: “In short, no matter the results will be, Rajiva will never just look on with indifference. Human life is the most precious thing in the world, and history is merely commentary by later generations, nothing to be feared.”

“I understand.” I put my worries aside and nod vigorously, then grab his hands: “Lu Guang will definitely not heed your words. We have to find someone who will listen. Rajiva, you go and talk to Du Jin. He is the only person around Lu Guang who listens to reason. I will go to every tent and tell everyone not to sleep tonight, and that they should get ready to leave at any time.”

He finally relaxes his brows, smiles and nods at me: “Ai Qing, thank you-”

“We are husband and wife, what is there to thank!” I take his hand and walk out of the tent together. “So what if we are changing history. I just want to do what a person with a conscience would do in this situation.”

As expected, even Du Jin’s words are not listened to by Lu Guang. Rajiva and I can only divide up and go to every tent. There are too many people and too much luggage, and most people are doubtful, so much time is spent persuading them. Thankfully, Du Jin believed Rajiva’s words and had secretly ordered the soldiers to cooperate in making preparations.

When I step out of the last tent, it is midnight and the wind is whizzing through the ravine, blowing dust and fallen leaves all around me. Just when I am dragging my tired body to return to our tent while avoiding the dusty wind, raindrops the size of beans suddenly pour down. A ray of lightning flashes across the dark, cloudy sky, followed by rumbling thunder. The rain gets heavier and heavier, the clouds denser and denser. I hurriedly run towards the tent; half of my body is already wet. All of a sudden, a dark figure is rushing towards me. I hear a voice calling me. It is Rajiva. He runs up to me, pulls me into his arms and shields me from the rain and wind.

蓑衣 (suō​yī)

We are soaking wet by the time we reach our tent. We quickly change into dry clothes and put on straw capes¹. The voices of people and horses outside gradually become louder. In an instant, lightning and thunder flash, and heavy rain falls.
1 蓑衣 (suō​yī): a raincoat made out of straw.

Rajiva helps me get into the carriage. The carriage driver and luggage are both ready. He[Rajiva] himself refuses to get in. In the heavy rain and wind, I hear him shout:

“You go first. I am going to find Du Jin. We have to find a way to evacuate everyone out of this ravine, otherwise, once this rain triggers a flash flood and there is no place to hide left, it will be too late!”

I refuse and want to go with him. He resolutely blocks me from getting out of the carriage.

“Listen to me, you cannot be in the rain for too long or you will fall ill. You going with me would only drag me down. I will return once I find Du Jin.”

He gives a few words of instructions to the driver then quickly runs off. After the carriage has driven for a little while, I suddenly hear lots of loud noises and women’s crying. I look out and see a group of dancers and craftsmen in a chaotic mess. They do not possess the discipline of an army or have a leader, so the horses and camels are disorganized and are blocking the entire road. I jump out of the carriage, wave my hands around and yell at everyone not to panic. In such a chaotic scene where horses are neighing and humans are crying against the backdrop of rain and thunder, my voice is unable to travel far. Heart getting anxious, I pull out my flashlight, turns it on and holds it high. As expected, the concentrated and steady source of light calms everyone down. I have been reluctant to use this flashlight, afraid that the battery will run out. Given the urgency of the situation and seeing how dark and late the night is, I have taken out the flashlight and stowed it away in my arms just in case, and now the time has come to use it.

I yell that everyone should not panic and instead should line up and follow the light in my hands. The leader of each group should step out and lead people. I become the traffic police officer in the rain. After directing people for an hour, at last, the group of dancers and craftsmen can exit the ravine. Up next is the camel team, including the big camels that carry the treasures that Lu Guang has pilfered from Kucha. I have stood in the rain for too long, even my straw cape cannot withstand it, and the new clothes are also soaked through. At midnight in early April, having been soaking wet this whole time, my hands have stiffened in the cold. I alternate between the two hands to hold the flashlight high. As soon as one hand rises, the other immediately drops to my mouth so I can blow warm air on it, but to no avail.

It is so cold that I begin to lose my senses, teeth rattling, and the words I am shouting out as commands become less and less coherent. But if I leave, the scene will become chaotic again. Lu Guang’s army in the front and the middle is still stuck in the ravine. The group carrying food and supplies are becoming a burden to the entire caravan. If we do not get them out of here quickly, the army behind them will be stuck and swept away by the flood. I stomp my feet on the muddy ground. My shoes have been in the water for too long, and my feet are so cold that they are losing feeling. I tremble but still grit my teeth and continue to hold the flashlight to direct the caravan.

Right when I think I am about to faint from the cold, I suddenly hear someone calling my name. I try my best to gaze into the darkness and can only see lanterns swinging. It is only when they are near, do I recognize the group approaching me in the rain. At the front are Rajiva and Du Jin.

Rajiva rushes forward, checks my clothes, puts a hand on my forehead, then without a word, picks me up and rushes to the carriage. I want to tell him that I am okay, but once I come into contact with his warm chest, I realize that I am freezing cold and about to lose my breath.

He carries me into the carriage, tells the driver to stand guard outside and not let anybody in. After that, he takes off my clothes and brings out the thickest winter clothes in my bag to cover me. He also takes off his clothes and gets underneath, wraps himself around me and quickly rubs my arms with his hands.

Surrounded by his warmth, my body finally warms up. Seeing that my normal body temperature has returned, he helps me change into dry clothes. His eyes are full of worry and reproach, but he does not say anything. I get wrapped up in the thickest clothes, like a polar bear. After confirming that my arms and legs are warm again, he puts on the straw cape and heads out, but then returns in an instant. He tells me that Du Jin’s people have taken over the command. Now it is our turn to leave.

Our carriage rolls forward and exits out of the ravine. A group of soldiers has taken my lead and is waving lanterns high in the air. Du Jin stands nearby and continually directs people. Seeing that things have become orderly, I relax and fall asleep in Rajiva’s arms.

When I wake up early next morning, I find that I have no signs of illness. I smile to myself. It was fortunate that Rajiva came back in time last night.

I jump out of the carriage and have to squint to look at the sky. It has cleared up and the sun is shining down warmly. Except for the mud on the ground, there is almost no sign of yesterday’s storm.

We are resting on high ground and looking around, everything seems to be a mess. People, horses, and camels are caked with mud. Soldiers and servants do not have carriages to rest in, so they are either lying down or falling asleep where they sit. Everyone stayed up all night and thus had no energy to set camp.

Rajiva also jumps out of the carriage and stands next to me, observing the situation together. After escaping from the ravine, we had leaned against each other and closed our eyes for a bit. A group of people is heading towards us. The leader is wearing armour—a tall and burly man with sideburns. His face cannot hide the exhaustion. It is Du Jin.

揖 (yī)

He steps in front of us and solemnly raises his folded hands* to chest-level. We hurriedly return the greeting.
* [T/N: To describe it more accurately, the hands are laid flat against each other, palms facing inward, left hand laying over right hand, but covering only up to middle of palm, not touching wrist, and thumbs are hidden from view. How do I know it’s left hand over right hand? Because that’s how men are supposed to do 揖 (yī), an ancient Chinese greeting, whereas women would have right hand over left; it’s the reverse for funerals and 凶禮 (xiōnglǐ) or inauspicious rites.]

“Last night, Master and Princess’ altruism has saved tens of thousands of people. Du-mou knows not how to reciprocate this feeling of gratitude!”

“General Du, you must not speak this way. It was merely what Rajiva and his wife ought to have done,” Rajiva places his palms on top of each other and replies evenly.

“General Du, what are our casualty figures?” I ask, impatient, for my heart is worried about my active participation [in history].

“Thanks to Master and Princess, only the rear army was not able to withdraw from the ravine and was submerged by the flood. Thousands of people were lost.”

I am stunned. I had participated as much as I could, had warned people as early as possible, even used the modern method to direct traffic, and yet the result is still the same as what was recorded in history: “Thousands died.” So, had I remained indifferent and not get involved¹, how many more people would have died?
¹ 置身事外 (zhì ​shēn ​shì ​wài): chengyu, lit. ‘place body out [of the] matter/affair’ – meaning is pretty self-explanatory.

“Simply put, the loss was not high, which is a great fortune.” Perhaps because he sees the colour of Rajiva’s face, Du Jin continues: “From the time the heavy rain came to when the flood began, it was barely more than one shichen [=2 hours]. The disaster struck suddenly and it was late at night. If everyone had slept peacefully, the consequences would have been disastrous and the number of people dead would have been more than mere thousands. Perhaps even we would have lost our lives in the ravine. Fortunately, Master knew the heaven’s secrets and Princess laboriously went to warn everyone, so we were able to withdraw quickly.”

Rajiva turns to look at the nightmare of a ravine not too far away, eyes full of sorrow, lets out a long sigh, and touches his palms together in salutation towards Du Jin:

“General Du, once the dead have been buried, please allow Rajiva to chant sutras to lay their souls at peace.”

“Master is really a person of great compassion and wisdom, Du-mou really admires it! Should Master have any tasks in the future, Du-mou would not hesitate to carry out.”

抱拳 (bào​quán): cupping one fist with the other hand

Du Jin suddenly cups one fist in the other hand and bends down on one knee in front of Rajiva. The solemn ceremony shocks us. Rajiva quickly helps him stand.

“Oh, that’s right, I do not know what kind of lamp Princess used last night? The light could be seen from far away, was steady, and could be waved around at will.” Du Jin greeted me with folded hands again. “It was very disorderly and chaotic last night. If Princess had not helped to clear the road of horses and camels, the [escape] time would have been delayed by a shichen. With this service, Princess’s contribution was extremely large.”

“I…” I stutter, my mind turning furiously.

“It was a gift from the King of Kangju¹ to my king. I heard that it came from Daqin² in the far west. My king only had one such lamp and had gifted it to Princess.”
¹ Kangju was the Chinese name of an ancient kingdom in Central Asia, the capital of which was situated in what is roughly now Tashkent, Uzbekistan.
² Daqin was the ancient Chinese name for the Roman Empire.

I glance at him but see that his face is as calm as still water. I have no choice but to add on: “That’s right. There is only one in the world. It is a pity that it was soaked in the water for too long last night that it is now broken.”

I did not lie to him. The flashlight is really broken.

Du Jin expresses regret and after a few more words, leaves to set camp.

I let out a sigh of relief and secretly tug a corner of his robes.

“Aren’t you not allowed to lie?”

He glances at me and says lightly: “If we had said it is an object from a thousand years later, he would have thought that a lie.”

He shoots me a sharp look with both eyes. I quickly raise my hands above my head in surrender.

“I’m sorry, I dare not do it again! I will definitely not take out any items from the future in front of others!”

He sighs and takes down my hands with a soft look in his eyes: “It is not that I am blaming you. One ought to prioritize matters¹ and give the situation last night, of course you should have used it. It is just that you did not care for your body last night and almost fell ill from being frozen for too long. Do you know how worried your husband was?”
1 轻重缓急 (qīng​ zhòng ​huǎn ​jí): chengyu, lit. ‘light, heavy, slow, quick’, meaning to be able to prioritize by weighing things as slight or important, urgent or non-urgent.

I fall into a daze, then smile at him. Husband? This is the first time he has used this title, and it makes my heart feel warm.

“Look at you, how can you still smile!” Vexed, he gently knocks my forehead.

When he was a child, I was the one who often knocked his forehead. When did things turn upside down? I am just about to grumble a few words but see his face turns solemn as he says:

“If being too cold did turn into an illness, Lu Guang would not stop the whole caravan just for you. The road is bumpy, and there is a lack of medicine and physicians, so if your condition worsens…”

He suddenly stops and on his face is a look of fear that I have never seen before. He gazes at me dolefully:

“If there is no cure here, Rajiva would have no choice but let you return to your own time…”

My heart beats faster. I immediately understand his fear. My boss’s words quickly flash through my mind. Suddenly, I feel even more frightened than he is. Clearing my throat, I try my best to dispel the thoughts that I do not want to face, look at his deep eyes, and raise my hand to solemnly swear:

“Don’t worry, I promise I will look after myself. Because of you, I now treasure my body more than ever. This body is not only mine, but also yours.”

The corners of his mouth curl up into a brilliant smile. He takes down my oath-swearing hand:

“Let us go and see if there any wounded.”

He gently leads me by hand. A spring breeze blows by his kasaya robes and the sun is shining brightly on him, illuminating him with little golden dots. I sneak glances at his handsome face and cannot help but smile as I intertwine our fingers and walk with him.

We rest for three days before continuing on with the journey. Many of the thousands of people who died have been washed away by the flood. Only a third of the bodies were recovered. The soldiers dig up a huge pit, and all the corpses are buried together in one place. They have lost their lives because of Lu Guang’s stupidity and wilfulness, yet they do not even get to have tombstones. Rajiva has been busy these past three days as he insisted on chanting sutras to lay the souls to peace one by one. Whenever Lu Guang sees Rajiva, he would turn sullen and avoids him, probably out of shame.

Three days later, we walk back into the ravine that is full of painful memories. The whole caravan is quiet save for the noisy sound of footsteps, crunching sound of the horse-drawn carriages, and the jingling sound of camel bells. Above us, the sun is shining as usual. Thousands of people have lost their lives to the Silk Road overnight, but who will remember them?